I find myself both looking forward to Holidays and also dreading them. When my children were little, I really loved everything about them...the shopping, the decorating and the excitement that it brought to our family. All of the family get-togethers and dinners were such a treat, to see everyone and also to eat so many traditional, favorite dishes. My family is Italian, so there would of course be a big pan of homemade lasagna (my grandparents are from Italy) My Grandma Addoloratta makes her own pasta, rolls out a big sheet of dough, and cuts it into either ravioli or lasagna. And of course, makes her own spaghetti sauce (she calls it gravy). She would layer it all up with lots of fresh ricotta cheese, mozzarella cheese and shredded Romano cheese that was cut from a big piece in the basement refrigerator. My grandmother often made something I called smashed olives. She would buy large green olives from the Italian Deli that she would put in between two towels and actually hit and smash them with a hammer. Then she would marinate them in olive oil, spices and onion slices There was always a big platter of baked chicken and also meatballs and sausage. My mom, who isn't Italian always added several bowls of steamed vegetables and a big green salad. And, my grandmother would make sweet, light rosettes, covered with honey and powdered sugar for dessert. My mom would always bring a big platter of homemade Christmas cookies. I always looked forward to and counted on it always being the same...tradition. I am so fortunate to have had those wonderful Holiday celebrations. I have wonderful memories of those times. Fortunately, my two children also got to experience those Holidays with my Italian family.
The big silver metal tree with ornaments and lights would be lite in the living room upstairs and there would be a small tree in the basement where we would have our family get togethers. The presents would be under the little tree downstairs and as I child I couldn't wait to open the presents and neither could my children. My aunt never had children, and she was the one that would put together the gifts...and so, most of the time it was money. My aunt and my mom would always buy my grandma new robes, night gowns or daytime dresses which she would carefully wrap back up, after opening...and continue to wear her old clothes. That was her generation...had to use something until it was worn out...completely...
Christmases were fun when my kids were younger and also into high school.... but when they moved out and went their own ways...Holidays became kind of sad for me. We would get together, but they also had another family too...so times had to be split up. As we got older, we were less likely to do any driving that would be a long distance...especially in the winter (we've had to turn back because of whiteout snowstorms in the Midwest) ...So, our Holidays were more sending gifts through the mail, cards, telephone calls....and, now they are emails and texts...
I think that this story is probably true of a lot of families these days. People move about much more than they did when we were young. So, often times nearby friends and neighbors become the 'new family' to celebrate the Holidays. Often, they were similar in age and their families may also live on the other side of the world or too far to travel to...because of age and financial restrictions.
The saddest part about any Holiday is the memory of having once celebrated with someone who is no longer on this earth. Someone who has lost a loved one tries to go through the motion, but their heart is not fully involved...a halfhearted empty feeling...no matter the years.
The friends and family of mine that have lost a loved one...a child, a partner, parents....choose to believe that their loved one is still communicating with them, staying near to them and joining in by showing them a sign...and that seems to give them great comfort.
As Tennessee Williams said... "Life is all memory, except for the present moment that goes by so quickly you hardly catch it going
